I miss writing. I miss the catharsis. This having a toddler business is an incredible time sink. Not to mention work. Not to mention the rest of adult life. I’ve started so many blog posts in my head – “must find time to jot that down…” And now I’m sitting here, finally making the time to write, and all my bright ideas for blog posts are just gone. And really, all I want to do is cry and sleep. And obviously this blog post is fairly useless. But I had to write something.
Blank Stares at Blank Pages
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Yup I’m with you on this one. Not only am I not writing, I’m also not reading much. It’s hard. Solidarity 👊
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Oh my goodness, reading! It’s been breaking my heart this year how little I have read. I’ve managed 2.5 books the last 2 months. Ooh actually that reminds me what one of my blog posts was going to be!
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Then you have read 2.5 more books than me!
But don’t despair. There is fruit to be gained in this season of our lives. You may have read or heard of author Henri Nouwen, who took some years out of his writing/academic life to look after Adam, a man with severe physical and intellectual disability. He wrote: “While I tended to worry about what I did and how much I could produce, Adam was announcing to me that “being is more important than doing.” (Adam: God’s beloved.) He learnt that as he was looking after Adam, God was teaching him the meaning of loving the lowest of the low, the meaning of the lowest being the greatest, and, indeed, the meaning of the Gospel itself. He thought he was serving Adam: but he was, to a much greater extent, served by Adam.
May our motherhood bear the same fruit of humility! As we let go of our ideas of productivity and even let go of ourselves, may we discover what it is to just “be” – be a Christian first a foremost, and a Christian mother no less. May God teach us in our waywardness even as we teach our toddlers in theirs. The time will come when we can read and write and produce great works. But, in this season, may every tear turn into a seed that bears fruit, nourishing us and our children even when all the writing fades and words fail and pages are turned to ash.
Thinking of you. Xx
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What an inspired reply. Thank you. I didn’t know that about Nouwen, but I know of him – loved his book about the return of the prodigal son! And yes, I guess I do have to remember that my number one job aside from living for God right now is mothering this little guy the best I can.
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A Wigwam for a Goose's Bridle 
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