A Wigwam for a Goose's Bridle

For a while now, my prayer life has been truly struggling.  And by struggling, I mean almost non-existent. I mean to do it, I intend to do it, at some level I want to do it.  But I’m tired and busy.  I’m working.  I have a baby.  I go to Sunday Mass etc but daily prayer is left for the evening before bed, and I probably usually fall asleep halfway through it.

A friend has recently pointed me to Fr Mike’s podcasts ( https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/umd-newman-catholic-campus-ministry/id273537688?mt=2 ) – now I don’t usually do podcasts but in whatever prayer I’ve been managing, I’ve been praying for more faith, more inspiration.  So when she said I should listen to these, I kinda figured maybe the Holy Spirit was up to something.

At her recommendation, I’m working through the homilies from Lent 2016 – a series entitled “It’s Nothing Personal”.

Wow.

So much resonates.

1. Especially as Catholics, we are taught to repeat more than we are taught to pray.  How much of my prayer life is muttering something like the Rosary?  Not that the Rosary is not a wonderful prayer, but that I get caught up just repeating like a parrot, not really praying.
2. If I say I’m gonna pray tonight and then I don’t, it’s like standing up a friend when I’ve told them I’d meet them for coffee.  It’s incredibly rude, especially if I do it often.  And if I keep cancelling our plans together, I’m telling that friend that other things matter more to me than them.
3. The way I’m going, God is feeling incredibly friend-zoned.

Fr Mike offers 2 requirements for prayer, and it’s that simple (yet omg so hard): God loves you; let Him love you.  God is already present and attentive; you need to be present and attentive.

Ah gosh how this resonates.  Yeah He loves me but… but I’m not allowed to say that any more.  And yes, when I do pray, how much is my mind and attention elsewhere?

I feel so inspired to prayer right now, and yet I sat down for just that, and barely 2 minutes later I’m looking at the clock. 😦

Ah God, I’m so glad you’re patient as well as loving.