A Wigwam for a Goose's Bridle

This book was incredibly disappointing. Janet Lansbury and her mentor Gerber are considered giants in the field of modern parenting. Janet supposedly holds the secrets to making me the parent I want to be: calm but in control. This book has come so highly recommended that I really expected more.

What does Janet get right? Evidence-based information about respecting our children, allowing feelings and setting firm boundaries. Why don’t I like the book then? Firstly, it’s poorly written with no flow. It jumps from topic to topic and seems to be a patchwork of fresh writing, her blog posts, and letters between her and her clients. Half the book seems to just be her saying she’s awesome cos she’s helped people. And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy she has!

Janet seems to be very anti cue-based care which goes awfully against Pam Douglas’ evidences- based Possums approach. Janet listes baby wearing amongst gimmicks she doesn’t like. Gimmicks? Seriously? I reread that paragraph so many times hoping it was my misunderstanding.

All in all, her book may be a useful starting point for some people, especially if the idea of not wanting to yell at your kids is completely new to you. However for those of us with tricky, spirited children, there’s not much help here. Janet just states her ideas and assumes they will just work. I spent most of the book thinking yes, Janet, that’s a great start, but what do I do next when it doesn’t work? After all, that’s why I’m reading this book. Staying calm and speaking nicely and allowing feelings is not working. What next, Janet?